Coping with Grief
It is important to allow oneself to feel all the emotions that arise from grief as painful as it may be. A grieving person has two choices: to avoid the pain and emotions associated with loss and continue on, or recognize grief and seek healing and growth. Getting over a loss is slow hard work, but if grief is ignored it may continues to cause pain.
Grief has no timetable. Emotions may come and go for weeks, months or even years. While a show of strength is admirable, it does not serve the need to express sadness. So what can you do?
You can talk about your loss with people who will listen. Your family and friends are here to support you and, although they may not know how to respond, they can certainly be an outlet. Forgive yourself for all the things you believe you should have said or done. It is important in healing to pardon yourself for the emotions such as anger, guilt or embarrassment you may have felt while grieving. The act of forgiveness can take pressure off of the mourning process and can allow you to heal more efficiently.
Eating well and exercising can help you sustain your energy. Find a routine that suits you. Clear your mind and refresh your body by taking naps, reading books, listening to music or renting movies. Doing simple things you enjoy can distract your mind and bring you more comfort.
Be sure to try and prepare yourself for holidays and anniversaries. Many people while grieving find themselves becoming especially “blue” during these periods. The anniversary date of the loved ones death can be particularly painful even if you think you’ve progressed. Be sure to make arrangements to be with friends and family members with whom you are at ease. Planning activities to mark the anniversary can be comforting.
Formal and informal compassionate services may be useful to a person who is grieving. These support services can be guides through some of the challenges of grieving as the person adjusts to their loss. Grief and individual counseling can be provided by professionals to help with the healing process. Consult a hospice in your local community, regardless of whether the loved one was cared for by that particular hospice or not. Our Medicare Hospice benefit provides bereavement support for family members and loved ones for up to 13 months after a patient has passed.
Most hospices have bereavement programs that provide grief support to their communities. If you are in the northern Colorado area and would like to speak with our bereavement counselors about individual, group or family counseling please call (970) 352-8487.
